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The dog's prayer

Author Unknown

Dear God:  


Here is a list of just some of the 

things I must remember to be a good dog:


1.  I will not eat the cat's food before he eats
 it or after he throws it up..


2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, 

etc. - just because I like the way they smell.


3. The litter box is not a cookie jar.


4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.


5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.


6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's 
underwear when he's on the toilet.


7.  Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is 

an unacceptable way of saying  'hello'.


8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up 

when I'm under the coffee  table.


9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur

BEFORE entering  the house - not after.


10. I will not come in from outside, and

immediately drag my butt across the carpet.


11. I will not sit in the middle of the living
room, and lick my crotch.


12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' - so when I

play with him and he makes that noise - it's 

usually not a good thing.

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