The dog's prayer
Here is a list of just some of the
things I must remember to be a good dog:
1. I will not eat the cat's food before he eats it or after he throws it up..
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs,
etc. - just because I like the way they smell.
3. The litter box is not a cookie jar.
4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.
5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is
an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.
8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up
when I'm under the coffee table.
9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur
BEFORE entering the house - not after.
10. I will not come in from outside, and
immediately drag my butt across the carpet.
11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room, and lick my crotch.
12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' - so when I
play with him and he makes that noise - it's
usually not a good thing.