Basset Calculator
Courtesy Susan Sadler
| A. | Occiput | - lump of knowledge |
| B. | Brain | - too complex and clever for human comprehension |
| C. | Eyes | - The Ultimate Weapon! Safety mechanism against any form of correction; also useful around the dinner table |
| D. | Nose | - Can detect roast beef in a sealed bank vault; also used to perform introductions to other dogs and humans (with occasional embarassement to the owner!) |
| E. | Lips | - To carry water from drinking bowl to human legs and laps |
| F. | Mouth | - Transport medium for belly (see I); also used as musical instrument with selections ranging from - - - operatic to the 1812 Overture |
| G. | Tail | - for wagging objects off low coffee tables |
| H. | Nails | - Often raked down human shins to gain attention; aid in digging large holes |
| I. | Belly | - Large, economy-size, perpetually empty container for bits of shoes, carpets, chairs etc. Source of all motivation in the basset. |
| J. | X | - Scratch this spot for perpetual motion of hind leg. |
| K. | Feet | - For transferring mud to floors, humans and non-doggy people. |
| L. | Ears | - For collecting samples of food, dirt etc (especially etc!); also for laying under descending human feet to gain sympathy, attention and dog biscuits. |
| M. | - Yet to be discovered oddities of Basset behaviour ... Brace yourselves! |
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